So now that I'm not depressed/suicidal/crazy, I can stick up for myself and believe in what I'm saying.
Bad influence my ass. I drink rarely. I've never done anything harder than Brandy. Hell, I've never even seen coke. I don't judge or make fun of people. I don't stay out all night partying. Actually I usually stay home on weekend nights. I'm ambitious and get good grades. So you go ahead and call me a bad influence while your own daughter is a drug addicted, alcoholic slut. Maybe after you get your head out of your own ass, we can talk about influences.
Yeah, so, I've fucked up a lot in my life. But it's funny how I can move past it, and progress when you still can't forgive and forget. I can forgive myself for losing all trust from my parents and making them cry, causing my entire immediate family and best friend to hate me, putting ugly scars all over my body, beating the shit out of both my parents when all they wanted to do was save me, and so much more. I've moved on. It's mistakes I made when I was in a fucked-up state of mind.
But YOU can't forgive me for trusting you enough to make you my last resort. And I can understand I blew that trust. But honestly, what did I do? I got you mixed up in some bad shit for a few days. Then when I was gone and locked up, you could go back to your beautiful, rich, perfect life.
You want to know what I did? I went through 4 months of fucking hell. Worse than hell. You'll never understand how it feels to hate yourself more than you did because you can't even kill yourself. Then you resort to smashing your head on brick walls, hoping the blow will put you out of your misery.
Through the time I needed you most, you abandoned me. 8 years, completely forgotten. Now that I'm happier than I have ever been in my life (no thanks to you), I can stand up for myself and say confidently that I'm a better person than you'll ever be. Never would I have cut you off if you were suicidal and needed to find yourself. I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy.
I don't regret one thing that I've done, no matter how destructive, stupid, or mean. I now know who I am, who I want to be, and why I'm here. I know things you'll never even wonder about, because you're closeminded and shallow.
I wonder how you sleep at night in your king sized bed inside your mansion, beach house, lake house, 2nd mansion in Chicago, the boy-of-the-week's bed. I wonder how you feel when you ignore a begger on the street, your Louis Vuitton purse on your shoulder holding $300 cash and your daddy's credit card. I wonder if you'll ever get a job, or just live off mommy and daddy's savings because work bores you and chips your nails.
Get over yourself. GET REAL.